Monday, February 20, 2012

Try something indirect

Waking up with the most horrible intestinal pain, clenching deep sadness aching horror just pain pain pain and I'm wondering why today, why today? Maybe I shouldn't have rolled over onto my left side. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that quinoa around 7:40 pm or whenever that was, that's when the bloating started but then it always starts around then, right? I mean it goes on all the time, but it gets worse at night, and sometimes it's like there's a button right before I get in bed, when suddenly it's horrible, again. Even if it wasn't bothering me at all beforehand.

Could it be from rubbing flax oil into my belly and chest like the naturopath suggested, so that I can try to get omega-3 fatty acids through my skin? Maybe I shouldn’t rub it that close to my digestive system. And, just the other day, two days ago, the treatment that was supposed to help -- strain/counterstrain visceral manipulation. Is that what’s causing this horrible pain, worse than it's been at any time on this trip, so far, so bad that I feel like I didn't sleep, can't figure out what will help until I try one of those feldenkrais tongue lessons -- try something indirect, tongue connects to sphincter, right, digestive system in between. Something clears -- now maybe I can walk or sit or stand without too much pain and I'm thinking about how last night Randy asked if I was looking forward to my reading. I was too tired to look forward to anything, which is so often the case and still so often overwhelming. Please don't ask me that question.

Should I get back in bed? But: bed is what brought me here. Maybe it's time for a walk in the chilly fog, maybe that will help, now that I can walk.

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