Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Face and embrace

Strategy for dealing with the rain: you go out in the rain, pretend it's a nice day, walk around, slowly, the light in your eyes. But honey, it's still dark. At least today. Yesterday the sun came out and then suddenly you could see the mountains, at least from the condo tower where I'm staying in Vancouver on the 15th floor and there they were, snow-capped and stunning.

Yes, I'm staying in a condo tower on the 15th floor, on a street called Citadel Parade, I kid you not -- I'm guessing they invented the street recently, because it's not on the map, although there is a citadel, actually, I would call it an armory but I guess this is a different country, right? Other than the citadel, there are just four or five or maybe six gleaming 30-something story condo towers, or maybe the one at the end is apartments, but you get the point. And, to tell you the truth, this is the nicest place I've stayed. Alienating, yes, but completely absent of mold -- the only place where that's been the case, actually. Makes me think about how people keep giving me advice to look at these new buildings in Seattle, they might be the only way to avoid mold. Unless, of course, the construction was faulty. But if they are brand-new, then they just smell like chemicals.

But anyway, this one a small spotless studio with white kitchen cabinets and white walls and blue tiles in the kitchen and bathroom and a real bathtub not some plastic thing, deep too, but they key of course is the view yet the view, even at night when you're distracted by everyone in their windows, that's fun too, right? I mean, I wouldn't want to live here -- you walk outside and there's nothing human at all, really, except for a few humans walking around, then there's an institutional downtown, offices and hotels, more new condos, hardly any trees that all, Vancouver can be so ugly unless you're gazing at the water or the mountains or the sky and I wanted to tell you more, more about what I'm thinking about moving, more about what happened last night after I watched the people in their windows, but first it looks like I have to get back in bed, at first I thought there was a question: should I get back in bed?

But then I realized that was an answer. I've been getting back in bed a lot since I've been on tour, and maybe that's one of the good parts: that I can get back in bed, that it's okay to lie down and take care of myself were not just okay but absolutely necessary, even if it doesn't always do what I wanted to do it’s so much better than trying to push through the exhaustion without the cushion of more cushions. Pillows really, and a mattress, but you know what I mean. Time to lie down so I can get ready for my reading tonight, get ready by lying down so that I can face and embrace everyone tonight.

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