Friday, March 09, 2012

For-rent signs

It's funny how exciting it is to have a stereo in the place where I'm staying -- music just sounds so much better when it's not just coming from the tiny speaker in my laptop, right? I'm dancing around the kitchen, looking out to the distance for the sky, oh there it is. If I peek around the corner, I can even see the Space Needle, not something I ever liked before but now is a different time, maybe I like the Space Needle, at least for a moment when it surprises me like that.

Yes, I woke up into another laundry detergent disaster -- even after washing the sheets, dammit that didn't work. Outside for a walk without contacts, yes even in Seattle, strange how my relationship to the city changes block for block -- as soon as I'm in First Hill it just feels empty but what do I mean by empty? Sterile. Or, suburbanly urban. Gray.

Just kidding about the gray part -- it's gray everywhere. I mean here. The air doesn't smell that fresh to me, but maybe I have to give up on that if I'm going to live in a city. The air was great in Eugene, but Eugene would be too small for me.

Later: another walk. The first block I really like is a block with trees, yes trees, I think I need trees. Although, just a few blocks beyond, three huge cellphone towers, what am I going to do about those? I mean, otherwise it's my ideal location, right around the corner from the co-op, but I don't want to be around the corner from three huge cellphone towers, do I? Moving is so complicated -- looking at the rentals on craigslist just hurts my body and depresses me -- too much carpet, too many ugly new-old buildings. It's funny how all the buildings blend right together -- the gorgeous old ones, the rundown old ones, the gorgeous rundown old ones -- you could see my preference, right? But: are those more likely to have mold?

Okay, but I was talking about the blend -- you already know about the old ones, but then the 60s motel-style atrocities, the new condos, some of them suburban-urban style and some of them hyper-modern, squeezed in between turn-of-the-century buildings, what else? Those ones that were built recently, but look like they’re already about to fall down. Oh -- and, the big houses turned into apartment buildings, or house-style apartment buildings, those are the ones on 16th Street that I start thinking about living in, they face a little park and I imagine an amazing view of the downtown skyline but none of them have for-rent signs.

I'm getting wet, walking around in the rain just before sundown, I mean an hour before -- walking around in the rain is a strategy for dealing with the dark, that's what people say, keeping you from getting too depressed and the air is getting fresher. I go to look at some posh high design condo-style insanity -- it's too expensive for me anyway, but I want to see what it's like -- probably no mold, right? Too cold, empty, institutional, bleak, bathrooms without windows, chemical-smelling -- except for the view from the rooftop, which is so stunning that it's hard to believe. At least I don't want to live there: that's kind of comforting.

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