Friday, April 27, 2012

That kind of air anyway

Forget that progress narrative I was developing: today there is no progress. In terms of how I'm feeling, that's what I mean. My apartment is progressing, looking more gorgeous and calculated and I love when I step outside without an immediate agenda and I can stare at the trees and buildings and people or stare at the trees and buildings and pretend not to stare at the people, right? But then there's the way I feel, really, I mean not the way I feel when I stare at the trees and buildings and pretend not to stare at the people, then I kind of feel okay, but otherwise. Like I'm just trying to do something that's only a tiny bit of what I'm trying to do. And it's so overwhelming. Meanwhile, I haven't found someone to hook up my reverse osmosis water filter, so I go to QFC every day and carry home a gallon of water and produce too and maybe I should ask someone to help but I've been asking for a lot of help in getting my apartment ready, that's what I've been focusing on, and now that things are getting ready I do need to hire someone to help me once a week with basic chores like groceries and laundry and cleaning, so that I don't end up hurting my body so much just from carrying that one gallon of water home or whatever but I'm starting to feel relaxed, otherwise, or I was starting to feel relaxed the last two days and that was the progress narrative, but now it's over, right, or not over but I'm over, hoping it's not over, but it's over today and this newer version of the voice activation software inserts periods and commas everywhere, which is fucking annoying, funny too because wasn't Stephanie telling me that it wouldn't mark punctuation for her at all, that she had the name each item like comma, period, that sort of stuff and I wish it would do that for me, I know there's some place to turn off automatic punctuation, maybe I should look for that now. Oh, wait -- that wasn't hard at all: I just had to go to the tools menu, and then auto-formatting and the uncheck “add commas and periods.” And then the computer crashed, but I'll leave that part out. Or, I almost left that part out. But it didn't crash for too long, I mean it recovered itself, or something like that, and if I turned to the side while I'm writing this, turn to the side and look at the trees, then I'll notice that there is a metal wire hanging from the telephone wires overhead and sees this guy in jogging shorts eating a sandwich while walking downhill, people really like shorts here, I mean it's absolutely freezing today and people are wearing shorts, trying to fight it, I guess, because it's supposed to be spring and it is spring, you can tell because the birds are chirping and sometimes the sun comes out, but the weather is closer to winter and I like that kind of air anyway.

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