Friday, May 18, 2012

Desperation as medicine

Don't you love it when someone you don't know writes to you out of nowhere with a product suggestion, and – it turns out – they have your whole health situation figured out! Like this person who just wrote a blog comment, suggesting the perfect herbal solution for my uterine fibroids. Well, guess what? Uterine fibroids are something that I've never looked into – maybe because I don't have a uterus – but, why should that stop me from taking this exciting new product?

Well, I might as well mention that I'm getting more and more desperate about my health – so desperate that today I tried another attempt at the always-recommended and mysteriously named animal protein. This time turkey – supposedly “range-grown” without antibiotics, not fed animal byproducts, and not containing phosphates or nitrites. As good as it can get for something I don't believe in ethically in any situation really. Animal protein as medicine – take two. Or maybe this is take three. First I tried eggs, and that made me sick – horribly horribly horribly sick. Sometimes I feel like that started the disastrous bloating that's gone on for the last three years, but probably not. Then I tried fish 10 times, a few years ago, and that made me sick 10 times.

So, the good news is that this one slice of turkey that I ate didn't make me sick. Yet. So, that's more than I can say for everything else I'm always eating, like the beans that I soaked overnight and then cook for five hours, for the rice that I cooked for three times longer than you're supposed to. There was so much more in my head a few minutes ago, before I talked to my mother and crashed. Or maybe I crashed before I talked to my mother, then crashed deeper. There was so much more in my head in the middle of the night, and then when I got up, and then when I was on the bus, but not when I'm actually here trying to write. Now there's just a headache.

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