Tuesday, June 19, 2012

LGBT family-friendly

I'm on my walk to the park, feeling that lift as I walk through the tall trees and up the hill to the main lawn but oh no -- when I get to the top I see there's some kind of festival going on – a folk singer folking on stage in front of – oh, is that a Southern cotillion rainbow flag – you know, an oval wrap-around type thing, maybe it's colonial? Lesbians and kids – this must be LGBT Family Pride. Amazon is giving away free cotton candy because LGBT families deserve cavities too!

When I get to the upper lawn I'm so tired that I want to lie down but it's not sunny out although it is humid, kind of warm, so I take my clothes off anyway and lie down in the not-sun, drifting away as I hear the announcement for LGBT Family Zumba – I kid you not, the first family to come up and dance gets free front row seats at Pride next weekend – not just the kids, a whole family, the whole family needs to come up and dance.

How many are in your family, asks the announcer to the lucky winners, and then the zumba music starts – is it like rumba? I'm not sure – I know my mother does it. Actually the music is kind of relaxing like a marching band and I drift off a little bit, then when I sit up and put my clothes on and start to walk back I don't feel so awful and overwhelmed, kind of okay the way lying on the earth lets me let go of something, and then when I walk through LGBT Family Pride again, because I want to see what zumba looks like – kind of like something frat-sorority types do on MTV Spring Break in between the beer bong-a-thon and body waxing festivities.

Now that I feel better everything just seems funnier, especially the LGBT parents giving me weird suspicious looks that I can't quite place. Are they worried that I might not have kids? Then I might have LGBT parents? That I might abduct their kids? I catch one gay guy staring at me with mouth open, something like excitement but of course when I turn his way he turns away quickly. He’s with his boyfriend, but they don't appear to have kids, which is what it seems you need to have to be a proud LGBT family, but maybe they are LGBT family-friendly.


kayti said...

Long eyelashes make me feel better after thinking about your mom doing Zumba. This story sounds to real to be something I just made up. But lgbt family-friendly night that sounds just perfect. I should of thought of it first along with b Mac toco bell, and panda express.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Yes, this is back to Seattle realness indeed -- LGBT-Family Taco Bell/Panda Express, I can't wait!