Monday, September 10, 2012

Pay particular attention to the shade

As soon as Abby gets back from visiting the cult, she says let's go to Dollar-a-Pound. Of course we get there just before closing, but rummaging around in the piles of clothes on the floor I still manage to find a white belt, green pants, a big pink change purse, and this tiny gingham shirt in all different colors. Abby’s busy throwing so much stuff into a bag I can hardly believe it — dresses, a black purse, even a ratty blonde wig.

I get 2 pounds of stuff, and Abby gets 35. That's a lot of dresses. Then as soon as we get home, she's throwing all these disastrous outfits together — gorgeous, I love it! She even puts on makeup, and it looks pretty good – where'd you learn to do that?

Kevyn Aucoin.

Kevyn Aucoin’s got nothing on you.

News update: Elana del Monte is bringing cunty to Boston. Or, at least, she's the first one we hear using it. I don't know how I feel about it at first -- can you really say cunty without being a misogynist asshole? But when Elana del Monte throws down wicked cunty, that, my dear, is Boston realness, and although I may hate Boston I do live for Boston realness. And then, just the other night she turned to me and said Mattilda, you are cunt. And, I know that no one else thinks about these things so much, or no one else around me, but I just thought that was the most brilliant way to turn something potentially hideous into the most gorgeous compliment. So now I live for Elana del Monte, Elana del Monte and Dollar-a-Pound. I know you're saying: there must be something else that's good about Boston, right?

Okay, okay, well, of course there's driving over the Mass Ave Bridge at sunrise when you're crashing from ecstasy — bring it back, bring it back! Oh, and Five Seasons in Jamaica Plain – that is a delicious vegan restaurant, I'll give you that, if you can ever get there. I always end up at Buddha’s Delight instead, where I can only eat the hot and sour soup with brown rice, because everything else on the menu is fried or coated in sugar, but I do like that hot and sour soup, okay?

Oh, the DJs, of course – Michael and Richie, thank you for the music. The drugs were good until everyone started doing coke instead of ecstasy. And honey, this new batch of ecstasy – those big flat round tablets that everyone loves, it's like heroin and speed smashed together, what a mess. But I was supposed to be talking about the good things about Boston. Oh — don't let me forget the Fens.

But first, a rule: whenever you hear a bunch of shady bitches in Boston reading someone, pay particular attention to the shade because it might contain unintended advice. For example, when some hideous creature says watch out for her, she might give you AIDS — I saw her coming out of the Fens, well hello — look up the address of the Fens and boom, you’re in heaven.

The Fens is a park, in case you were wondering. The kind of park that's better after dark, not that I can be sure since I've never been there during the day, but you know what I mean. I mean I live for those paths through the reeds, careful not to step into something almost like a swamp, and make sure to get on your knees in the drier parts, okay?

Oh, wait — I have been there during the day! Remember that time when I went there just as the sun was rising because I was so wired that I couldn't sleep and I was getting horny and lonely the way that always happens when the drugs fade or keep going but in the wrong way and I wasn't sure whether anyone would be there but honey, can you believe it, I ended up making out with the hottest boy as the sun was rising on our faces, then we stepped behind the biggest chunk of reeds and yes it was freezing out but the way your bodies keep you warm I mean someone else's body, his, and the look in his eyes when he came, my tongue back into his mouth and yes I gave him my number, he won't call but after that at least I could sleep.

Usually it's not so romantic, I have to practically force people’s faces over to my lips to get that kiss because honey, if you're sucking my cock then you need to at least take my tongue, okay? People are so hilarious about come, and I don't mean in terms of telling you when, which everyone should do, I try not to get come in my mouth – risk reduction, right? I mean we all know there's no such thing as safe sex, just safer, and that's what I'm trying to accomplish.

But my point is that when there's some guy who's just been sucking your dick, and then he stands up and won't even kiss you – bitch, get over here! At least a hug, I need a hug, okay? But the worst faggots in the Fens are the ones that practically run when you say anything — but wait, I was trying to tell you about the beauty, stumbling through those reeds with all the other drunks, stumbling into these arms oh these arms and the way his head arches his back at that moment or my hands in his hair, yes I try not to mess up people's hair because I like mine to stay in place, right, but still my hands in his hair or the texture of his neck while I'm biting it, yes his hands up my shirt holding me holding everything and then when it just becomes a pile of guys, someone grabbing your dick and someone rubbing your legs and someone trying to get his fingers in your asshole, stop, no, stop — stop! But I love it when someone presses himself against me from behind, how can this position that feels so safe be anything else and we know it’s so much more and so much less and maybe that frightening possibility makes the beauty so much stronger and then, now that Abby comes with me too, not always but sometimes, even Sean occasionally although never to cruise, she's too proper, Sean stays over at the table in the distance where everyone smokes pot and giggles and throws down shady comments about everyone else and that part is fun too but only after the real fun, pulling up my pants and shaking my head in the wind and stumbling over to that table where sometimes no one’s left but me so then the table’s waiting and I sit down to catch my breath and study the way the air is somehow always foggier in this park, and even in the winter when it's freezing I suddenly feel kind of warm.


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