Wednesday, October 03, 2012

The blue in the Elmer's glue label

Okay, let's take a break for the photo booth – you remember: that's my excuse for going to Avalon. The only problem is that the photo booth is always broken. Let me tell you what I have so far. The first one is X, I've got on the silver lame shirt, and you can see that big zit on my cheek. Good thing the photo booth is black and white, right? I'm doing that thing with my tongue so that in one picture my whole cheek pops out like I have a tumor — talk about glamour. For some reason my face takes up most of the frame, in the first picture I'm kissing Abby and her lips look so big. Billy's on the side, almost out of the picture I guess you could say.

Next one: K now — and, as you know, I don't use the word fierce lightly, but Abby is looking fierce with those big sunglasses and the silver pearls wrapped around her neck. We're giving a little bit of the twins look with matching pink headbands and for some reason I've wrapped ribbon all around my neck; it's getting stuck and honey, I look like an advertisement for rehab. The third one’s the best. Abby's got the red wig on with the curls in front. We're doing the headbands again and I love the way she’s drawn eyelashes onto her face with eyeliner or something, just little lines beneath her eyes and in the last one I've got my mouth open and she's smoking her cigarette like it's a poison dart, which I guess it is. I love the one where I'm licking her cheek, and she's got this exaggerated expression of disgust but her tongue is snaking out towards mine. Oh – and those big foam ‘70s flower things that I’ve made into earrings – the ones that match the rollers in my hair – flawless.

Speaking of Avalon, we're on our way. I wasn't planning on going — okay, never mind with that act, the point is that we’re on the highway and my eyes are rolling back: I can't believe how beautiful the lights are, the way the stars fly by and I've never noticed before how much color there is in the sky. There's the color of the sky itself, yes it's dark but then also there are all kinds of blues — cobalt, midnight, navy, blueberry, sapphire, blackberry, the blue in the Elmer's glue label, why my thinking about that, dumpster blue, office socks blue, rubber band blue, black-and-blue blue or is it blue and black? And yes, there must be something called diamond blue, right, unless the diamonds are the stars but we already know that. And, they’re every possible green and red and pink and orange and aqua and lavender and yes, we’re just flying right through them, we're stars in the stars and why don't we do this more often, oh it's so relaxing, oh I want to stay here forever, please let’s keep flying through the sky okay, let's keep flying.

But then all of a sudden it switches and I'm in a panic, grabbing the steering wheel so tightly, sweat dripping down my face — oh my God we’re going to die, I say, oh my God — and everyone's saying Mattilda, it's okay, it's okay, we’re going to be okay, Mattilda, it's just the highway, we'll be there soon. I'm so scared we’re going so fast and then I can't figure out how to get over to the exit in time, help, there are so many cars, help, can someone look out for me, please, can someone look. And then we miss the exit so we have to get off but there's nowhere to stop before turning around to get back on but luckily then the calm part of the ecstasy is back and am I really closing my eyes on the highway, leaning back in the seat, just tell me when we’re there, okay, tell me when we're there.

And then when we finally get there I'm strung out again, biting my nails, chewing on my face —there's too much speed in this ecstasy, are you sure we have to go to this fucking club?


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