Saturday, December 22, 2012

It shirts me more than you grow


But can you believe Heavy-handed Wendy isn't working? Of course the pizza is delicious, but afterwards Abby says she has a stomach ache. I have a stomach ache too, but I always have a stomach ache.

Sean meets us at Luxor. You look fierce, she says to Abby — full face and jeans.

Casual, I say.

Don't worry — I've got the wig and heels in my purse, Abby says. Mattilda made me take the T.

I did not make you take the T.

Okay, you didn't make me. Sean?

I open my purse, and Sean drops three vials inside. I hand her $50. How’d you get such a good deal?

I found Michael's source.

Who is it?

Can't tell.

Bathroom?

You first.

All at once.

I'm shifting on a lonely pea.

Fishing you’d hum back at me.

And it shirts me more than you grow.

So much more than it blows.

All at once.

Who's getting the first round?

How about the only one who's over 21?

Bitch, please — how about the only one who's living off her parents.

I am not living off my parents. So what are you drinking?

Oh, this is a first.

I didn't say I was buying.

Abby turns 21 in two weeks.

Wow — she'll finally be able to get into bars.

And that's the line that does it — we’re all in hysterics, together at last, heading to the bathroom for some cat food. Oh, yes, I say looking in the mirror, eyes rolling back. Oh, yes. Soon enough we’re sitting in those cushy chairs with two Long Island iced teas and a Stoli madras, staring at the TV screens with our mouths hanging open.

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