Thursday, January 17, 2013

What's happening

Avery pisses — that didn't take long at all, but then he's standing there for a while and I'm thinking about it but no, I shouldn't look over. Should I? I mean there's the shower curtain between us anyway so I can't really tell what's going on exactly but Avery's moving around and maybe he took off his shirt and I'm trying to act like I'm not thinking about it and then wait, he’s pulling the shower curtain back to look me in the eyes or no, I guess he's looking at the rest but then my eyes and when I look down I see he’s totally naked and I say oh. Hi. And then I pull the shower curtain all the way back and Avery squeezes in.

So then he's under the water and I'm standing behind him, rubbing his back with the soap, usually I don't like the smell of Dial or Avery’s CKOne cloud although right now all of it smells comforting somehow, that means I must be really really high and Avery says oh, that feels so good, oh. So then I hold him from behind, breathing with his breath and I like the way his body feels so solid. I'm kissing his neck with my eyes closed, searching with my lips on moist skin the way skin can become so much more because of breathing and just holding him like that until he turns around and looks me right in the eyes. Avery puts his hands on my neck I'm looking at the way his eyelashes are so thick and long and curly, my hands on his neck and then we just stand there like that with the water spraying into our eyes and then he pulls me towards him like we’re in a movie, oh this movie is so nice, so nice and wet and warm or maybe cold yes cold so I pull Avery towards me, out of the water, and I turn it off.

Just so we don't get too cold, I say, and then I kiss his lips just once and he kind of shakes a bit, then again, and again, again, and then we’re kissing each other and laughing, just like that, I'm rubbing the sides of his head and he's holding my back, squeezing me squeezing him and so squeezing, letting go, squeezing again, that feeling between our legs even though I know we'll never get hard still that feeling, his lips something to taste, tongue into his mouth which is part of my mouth we’re dripping by keeping each other warm.

And then Sean comes in, pulls the shower curtain back. Oh. That's what's going on. Oh. I'm. Leaving.

And then he slams the door. Avery looks embarrassed, reaches for the towel, hands it to me.

You go ahead, I say. I'm glad you came in the shower with me.

Me too.

Let's do that again. Soon.

Yes. Soon. Do you think Sean’s mad at me?

Sean's always mad. Just listen to the music. The music isn't mad.

And Avery smiles. He's actually really cute with his curly hair all matted and those eyes oh those eyes, I've never noticed before, maybe if we were on ecstasy all the time we could be boyfriends. He hands me the towel. I don't know if I'm ready to leave the shower, but somehow Avery is already dressed. What time is it?

Avery looks at his watch, waterproof I guess, it was on the whole time: 3:45.

Oh, it's still early. Are you really leaving?

I guess so. If Sean’s still here.

I'm sure she's waiting.


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