Sunday, March 24, 2013

Out of nowhere

Oh, the headache – sometimes it surrounds me out of nowhere, I mean out of my head, which feels like nowhere, everywhere, this pain. So I’m pressing my temples to see where it starts and I realize oh, this is so familiar, oh, this is that headache from my teenage years, but why now? And my voice so scratchy today, I wake up so scratchy and dry, the last few days actually – could all of this be seasonal allergies?

I just checked the pollen count: 9.5 out of 12. It’s in the red zone, every day now it looks like. Ash, birch, and cedar/juniper. I do remember I had a particularly hard time with the juniper in Santa Fe, but not like this. Oh, my head is pounding. And my vision, so blurry when I go outside and I’m not sure if I need a new prescription for contact lenses or if this is the headache, or both, but the problem is that my contacts are always a little weak, but when I get them stronger, they give me a headache. So what happens now, when I are ready have a headache – maybe one headache will counteract the other? Oh, how I wish.

I was going to go to Santa Barbara on the way from LA to San Francisco, but now it looks too expensive. Maybe I’ll get to San Francisco a little earlier, even though I don’t really want to be there earlier? I’m going to make a lot of dentist appointments there — that should be fun, right? Is my headache worse when I'm inside — yes, I think it’s worse. So maybe I’ll go outside. Will it go away when I leave Seattle? Oh, how I wish — and, especially, the light sensitivity, why the light sensitivity now, in Seattle? When I tell people about that part on the phone, they keep saying oh, well then you’re in the right place. But, honey, the headache started here, or maybe not the headache if this is the same one I had 20 years ago, do they save them in a bag somewhere to insert in your head at the right wrong moment? This headache, this headache started here.

And the light sensitivity: I’ve never had that before. How sad it makes me feel, that I can’t appreciate the sun. Okay, here comes the headache again, better flee the computer.

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