Friday, March 15, 2013

That big fluffy cloud

How strange when I wake up at 6:40 am and I know it's too early, but is it too early? Then I lie in bed for another hour or almost two, and feel worse, and worse, until maybe better, maybe, I mean my gut instinct is that if I'm wired then that means I'm drained, but what if lying here for so long trying to get somewhere in bed in my head, in my head in bed, what if that's what produces the headache, or enhances it, intensifies it, and will I ever know?

I know the sun makes it worse, that glare, ouch, will I ever get to appreciate it again? Please, please – this is only temporary, right? Came on so suddenly, will it leave suddenly too? Or linger, I mean now I have tactics and strategies then means and methods to soothe so if it happens in the future then I can hold it off, right?

But there's still the present: now it moves. Out to my temples and yes, yesterday's acupuncture treatment didn't drain me, but maybe today’s did? Maybe not so much, since I was already drained – I had to go, because the headache was taking over and there was no other choice. Then I walked down the hill, now I can watch the sunset by looking in the opposite direction, don't look directly at the light, don't let it get in my eyes. On the way I buy a xerox of a drawing of hands on top of hands, five dollars and they have little hands into clay too but they seem somehow gory on their own. Stop into the vintage store that's never open when I walk by, I mean I didn't even think of it but then I saw someone go in. Walking up the hill, that's when I see the sunset by looking east, the glow of the flowers and that big fluffy cloud in the sky.

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