Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Another mood swing

So much light and so little oxygen, is that what causes all my mood and energy swings here in Los Angeles, a roller coaster indeed. I’m doing the awareness practice I learned in therapy to try to figure out what I do when I eat, I think I pull in my whole upper body, everything goes to the back of my head and I’m thinking about this while I’m chewing and then suddenly I feel so sad, crying while I’m eating and yes, last night I didn’t sleep as well, but maybe also this is what awareness means. Israeli journalist Amira Hass, apparently the only Jewish-Israeli journalist who has spent the last 20 years living in and reporting from Gaza and the West Bank, so she can’t imagine real change in her lifetime. And I’m walking down the street, trying to find something pretty. That’s the problem with LA, or one of the problems: everything is so ugly. Accept those little birds, chirping anyway, and wait, look at that flowering purple vine climbing almost all the way up those tall palm trees, another mood swing.

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