Monday, April 08, 2013

Arranging the vertical blinds

Pretend that this blustery wind blowing trees and dead leaves and pollution and dust and dirt and who knows what else, this blustery wind blowing everything into my nose it seems, trying it out completely as soon as I step out the door, pretend that this blustery wind doesn’t remind me of the desert. Even though I know this is supposed to be desert too, without all the water diverted from everywhere. Pretend that I don’t notice all these cars, the ugliness of this street like a highway, every major street in LA feels like a highway.
Okay, the trees, yes, notice the trees. Those big tall pines, I don’t remember noticing those in LA before. And what are those weird skinny evergreens that grow so tall but not wide, we had some like that in Seattle but different. The roots of these other trees, not evergreen, pushing through the sidewalk, I always appreciate that.
The problem with a map of LA is that everything looks manageable. A few blocks — is this really a few blocks? I’m walking towards Griffith Park, but I don’t think I’ve gotten anywhere yet. Oh, I see what Jessica means — up here the street becomes more residential, look at those trees with the trunks twisting almost like braids with the big flat green-brown leaves, they’re familiar but I’ve never them huge like this. In the median strip: trees with red spiky flowers like birds.
I should be in the median strip, it’s bigger than the street, which isn’t that small: much bigger than the sidewalk. So much grass, cushion under my feet. So many ugly mansions, kind of like the apartment buildings earlier although I know I’m supposed to say it the other way. How much further is the park, I don’t think I can get there. I call it Northwest realness when you lie down anywhere in the sun and take off your clothes, I think I will try out the median strip, even with all the poison on the grass into my skin, yes it feels good and I’m so glad I brought the eye mask.
I’m trying to think of this sudden light sensitivity as a temporary change — I’m discovering strategies for coping, it’s always good to have strategies. These will be useful once the headache goes away, to keep it away. To keep myself healthy.
In between the last paragraph and now, I had a Feldenkrais session. It was great, but now I’m exhausted. Probably more in my body, and my body is exhausted. Wow – there’s so much wind the vertical blinds are blowing everywhere, and I can’t keep the sunlight out unless I close the windows. I don’t want to close the window, because I like the air. The sound, the sound of the vertical blinds slamming against one another, it’s so irritating.
I was going to say something about cucumber juice. That’s what helped, earlier, when I was walking back from lying in the sun on the median strip, and I found the health food store Jessica mentioned and it was much better than I expected, the store, I mean, and I ended up getting cucumber juice, something I would only want in Seattle in the summer, but this isn’t Seattle and it totally shifted my mood, I wish I could go back there now, not back for more cucumber juice, not back to that health food store, I mean I will get back but not right now, just back to that shift.
But first I need to rest, yes rest although I think that’s what I was doing, just doing with Feldenkrais, right, but no, Feldenkrais is work and rest so I guess I’ll rest and get ready for the sun to go down you can go on a walk without a sun hat, or maybe I’ll need the sun hat anyway and that will irritate me because it will mess up my hair after I just washed it, but whatever, I’ll take irritation instead of headache, or instead of this headache and the irritation, a different irritation, oh, and I wanted to mention how as soon as I got off the train, no not as soon as I got off the train but as soon as I got outside in front of the train station, is soon as I got outside in front of the train station I had a sinus headache, right in between my eyes and the good part is that I thought oh, this is a different headache, a different one than the one I’ve been getting, although why would let the good part? I guess better than this headache, and when will this wind stop?

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