Friday, July 19, 2013

A few days

Avery brings the soup in my room and it smells so good. I take a few sips, but then I start to feel nauseous again.
Okay, let’s save it for later.
So this is how the whole week goes: Avery takes care of me, and when she goes out to make her deliveries I just wait in bed until she returns. And I feel awful, but I also feel like there’s something new in our relationship. I really never expected this, and I don’t know what to do exactly. I mean, right when I got sick I started thinking about my mother, that’s how I knew it was really bad, and then I started worrying that I had no one except Ned to take care of me, Ned who was out of town, Ned who would never take care of me like Avery is now, I mean he would pay for things, right, but lie in bed with me, I mean that would be gross anyway, but what am I going to do when he gets back? What are we going to do? Why am I worrying like this, maybe it’s just because I’m sick. Okay, let me close my eyes again.
When I wake up, Avery’s kissing my face, what time is it? Noon. Did I really just sleep for 12 hours? You needed it, Mattilda, you needed it.
I get up and I’m still coughing, but my phlegm is yellow now instead of red and I don’t feel like I’m going to fall down. I don’t feel hot or cold, and sure enough I take my temperature and it’s down to 99. I’m done with the antibiotics, and Ned is coming home tomorrow — I’m going to miss you, I say to Avery.
I’m not going anywhere.
But I’ll miss you anyway.
It’s funny how she can be so calm on so much coke, how does that work? Do you want some, she says, it’s good for your complexion.
No, I’m not ready.
I was just kidding.
The truth is that it is good for my complexion, just look at all these zits now, and it’s only been a few days.

No comments: