Avery rings the bell and when I get to the door he’s standing there with a huge bunch of sunflowers in his hands, who are those for?
These are for you, cunt — Daddy’s out of town and it’s our special time together at the palace. Finally.
Avery hands me the flowers, and then reaches down to pick up some boombox I’ve never seen before – I’m bringing back the ‘80s.
Oh, no, please, not the ‘80s. Anything but the ‘80s, even the ‘70s I mean anything’s better than Michael Jackson, anything. Thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful.
Okay, the early-‘90s. You’re beautiful. Now let’s put these sunflowers in water so they can grow. I’m sure there’s some big heavy crystal thing around here, right? When daddy comes home, you can just tell him they’re for him.
I will not tell him they’re for him.
Whatever you want, but can we please go to the bathroom, I want to fuck you over the sink.
So romantic — how can I resist?
You’re too hot. Are you ready for a bump?
That’s not really a question, is it?
I don’t know – let’s take a shower, okay? Let’s take a shower, and then go to the Esplanade. To watch the sunset. It’s warm out today, 60 degrees.
And I brought the boombox.
When we get to the Esplanade the sun is starting to set and everything is glowing. There are people everywhere, but somehow they don’t seem as awful as usual. Avery puts the boombox down and says wait, wait until you hear this. And she presses play.
Oh my God, you are not serious — where on earth did you find “I’m Too Sexy for Myself”?
Are you serious? Tower Records has “I’m Too Sexy for Myself”? — girl, Tower Records is where it’s at.
I just want to see you do runway.
“Oh, honey, I’m too sexy by far.”
“Too sexy for this song.”
Is that it?
No, wait, a tribal mix. Danny Tenaglia.
You are not serious.
I am serious — this is the Danny Tenaglia tribal mix.
With those awful ‘80s beats.
Early-‘90s, remember, you said it’s all about the early-‘90s.
“Too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan.”
Oh, yes, give it, give it, give it, did I ever tell you, did I ever tell you that’s when I first fell for you?
When I saw you. On the runway.
Are you serious?
I am so fucking serious. Okay, bitch, work it out, work it out and then I have something to tell you.
And oh, I’m flinging myself into the air and around, jump up and throw myself to the ground, rolling in the grass or dirt or leaves or whatever this is, stand up and give it, take it, make it, break it, fake it, snake it, shake it off, break it off, the lake, it isn’t a lake it’s a river, give her, give her what, give her the river, deliver, shiver, my liver, and Avery’s shrieking and I’m throwing my arms everywhere, hands flying up and back, head in every direction, yes the joggers are scared, bitches, the joggers are scared and never mind the strollers, too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my, and then I do the big kick in the air, as high as possible and I almost don’t believe it but I land with one leg straight out and the other crossed underneath like I’m just sitting there so calmly oh so calmly. Avery comes over to fan me with her hand, and that’s when I jump up and twist around her, is this really version 3, how many versions are on this CD?
And there’s that beat like one of those movie songs, who the hell made “I’m Too Sexy for Myself” anyway? Okay, okay, here I go, running down the Esplanade and Avery is cackling and fanning himself and I start to twirl around and around and around until I’m dizzy enough that doing the falling-over runway really is falling over, bending side to side and taking the tight rope in the middle into fight rope, light rope, blight rope, smash the glass and jump up and down delight rope and Avery runs in front of me and I stop, turn, put my hand on her face and then we turn around together, I’m holding onto her back like I could hold on forever and then I push her aside with feigned disgust and she laughs and what is this mix, I don’t remember this mix and Avery’s back I’m leaning against her like a prop or a wall or treasure or the end of the line or sustenance and she says Mattilda, you are so, you are so.
Don’t say it.
Fierce. I said it.