Avery, something awful happened. Avery, I left you and I went to the Fens, I went to the Fens and then something awful happened. Avery, I don’t know what happened, but I need to talk to you. Avery, I’m really scared. Avery, I can’t find the phone, where’s the phone, I want to call you. I want to call you, to ask for help. I just want you to hold me. Okay, will you hold me?
Oh, here’s the phone, covered in splatter paint, of course, what is this place, Andy Warhol meets Jackson Pollock meets Jack the Ripper? Avery picks up the phone: Domino’s Pizza, we deliver. She’s really high.
Avery, I say.
Mattilda, there’s a lot going on here, a lot.
Mattilda, are you ready, are you ready for this story?
I don’t know.
Mattilda, you sound so nervous. I just want you to know that you’ve got a nice asshole but I found something even better, ha ha ha, even better.
Mattilda, I called this guy from The Phoenix, you used to have an ad in The Phoenix, right? Well, I called this other guy from The Phoenix, Chad, I mean I know that’s not his real name, but Chad, Chad has an amazing ass. Chad, don’t you have an amazing ass? And, we have a lot in common, you know, we both like to blow, blow, blow the house down so that’s what we’ve been doing. Don’t worry, I paid him first, just for an hour, I fucked him for an hour but then he decided to stay over because of my, well, you know, just to hang out, and we’ve been hanging out ever since —I don’t know, 15 hours, 25 hours, how many hours? No, wait, maybe we slept, and then we fucked, and then we slept again?
Mattilda, what’s wrong, are you okay? Where’ve you been, are you coming over? Are you coming over soon?
I hang up the phone. My heart, I hope it doesn’t break through the skin. Ouch, now I need to shit again, ouch. I’m not dying. I’m not dying. I’m not dying yet.
I guess Avery was the wrong person to call. I’m feeling so tired again, but I don’t want to get back in this bed because then when will I ever leave? Did Avery really hire a hooker, right after I left? Don’t think about it, just go outside, wait, first get dressed, first get dressed, and then go outside. But why is it so hot in here?
Go outside, and it’ll be okay.
He folded my clothes. I can’t believe he folded my clothes. Everything is so awful, I can’t believe this happened. I can’t believe Avery hired a whore. Maybe she was joking. But I heard someone in the background. Oh, no, I have to shit again.
Okay, okay, don’t think about the pain, don’t think about it, don’t think about how when I was little I would sit on the toilet trying to shit and then there was always blood on the toilet paper, always blood, just like now, don’t think about it. Okay, there’s a lot of stairs, one at a time, don’t go too fast, okay, Mattilda, you’re going to be okay, we can get up the stairs. He’s not going to open the door before we get there.
Oh, it’s dark out. It’s already dark. What a relief. Oh, the Ramrod, should I get a cocktail? Maybe I need a cocktail.