Sunday, September 08, 2013

Hope that it heals me

The question of the day: how can I feel this awful? Of course, that’s the question every day, but some days are better, and some days are worse, and today is worse. In fact, today is so much worse. Although, not so much worse than yesterday, so what do I mean by so much worse? I mean worse than the general debilitating imbalance that feels like a fragile balance. Worse in the sense that I feel like how will I ever feel better?
I even felt like I slept okay, or it wasn’t very interrupted, and after spending several hours in the beautiful sudden sunshine of yesterday afternoon I thought maybe something shifted. But today I’m already canceling plans — forget about the farmer’s market, I can’t go alone. Even though that’s my favorite thing to do, all the delicious produce that’s so much better than any store.
And now the sun is out, so I will walk or stumble, probably more like stumble yes stumble to the park, and lie in the sun, and hope that it heals me, or at least helps me to feel a little better.
I went to the Park. I don’t know if I feel better, but at least I got some sun. Lots of sun. I even think I fell asleep, kind of. Now I have to deal with the rest of the day.

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