Saturday, October 26, 2013

Wanting to want to


Corporate lawyers on K Street, eating at Dunkin’ Donuts, whose money are they saving? Oh, no – the national headquarters of the Human Rights Campaign has a green roof – I wonder if the National Rifle Association has a green roof yet. I’m really bored with world leaders expressing outrage that the US is spying on them. I wish they would express outrage about something else the US is doing. It’s really confusing me to be the East Coast, where Democracy Now is not yet archived online in the morning, so I have to listen to a stream, and that means that when I pause the program I can’t come back to the same place. I can’t decide whether it’s more annoying in everyday experience when people hate me because of privilege or when people hate me because of lack of privilege, and whether this is the same thing.

Today, famous writer tells you everything about how to get published except what actually helped them. Don’t reveal what reveals. If you ever need to ruin a contact lens, vitamin E oil works perfectly. You probably don’t even need the good stuff, without 100 preservatives, which is a good thing, because you can’t find that anyway. Oh, no — it happened again. I went to a Famous Independent Bookstore, and probably 90% of their stock consisted of titles published by the corporate presses. There should be a rule that at least 50% of the titles in an independent bookstore should be published by independent publishers. If our cherished independent bookstores can’t support independence, what is the point? We rally around boutique venues for yuppie consumption as if they are community spaces for artistic production and intellectual engagement. I want a bookstore to make me read something I don’t know about, force me to challenge my assumptions.

I’m staying just around the corner from a sex club, and I haven’t even gone there once. I haven’t felt horny, but I feel like I should go there to see if I feel horny. Remember, I haven’t had sex in over 4 months, because I haven’t really wanted to, but I kind of want to want to, just to see if that’s better. Maybe I worry that if I keep not having sex, I’ll never have sex again. Maybe I won’t even want to. I want to want to, because maybe if I don’t want to I’ll never want to again.

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