Thursday, March 13, 2014

What happens

I never understand what happens when I cut myself chopping vegetables, because I’m always chopping vegetables, so what happens with the other thousands of chops in between the one that actually cuts me? For example, today I chopped three bunches of collards, two bunches of kale, one watermelon radish, one half of a butternut squash, one golden beet, a little bit of red cabbage, two heads of broccoli, one red onion, a bunch of rosemary, basil, a turnip, and probably a few other things I’m forgetting, so how many chops would that be? Let’s say, 20 for each bunch of greens, so that’s about 100 right there, 10 for the radish, 20 for the squash, 15 for the beet, five for the cabbage, 15 for the broccoli, 20 for the onion, 30 for the rosemary, 15 for the basil, 10 for the turnip, I guess that’s almost 250 chops just this morning, and I think the last time I cut myself while chopping vegetables was in Boston, in December, so maybe three months ago, but that time it was because the cutting board was slippery, glass, and glass cutting boards are ridiculous, not just because of the slipperiness, but because they dull the knife, although I guess that doesn’t relate to cutting myself today, where the knife went right through my thumbnail and sliced off the top of it, it’s pretty deep, this cut, the blood just keeps flowing, I mean, I was just about to go on a walk, but then the blood was pouring out of the bandaid – or, the three bandaids I’m using as one, really, or the three bandaids I was using, before I had to take them off because the blood was pouring onto the floor, a little got on my pale yellow-green pants but luckily I noticed that right away and got it off, changed the bandaids, and now maybe I’m ready for a walk, again.

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