Monday, March 23, 2015

Synthetic thoughts

So I was asked to comment on the Dolce & Gabbana “synthetic babies” scandal, and my first instinct, after looking it up, was to think: who cares? It’s like the battle of the self-hating gays, right? Dolce and Gabbana say babies should come from the traditional family (Jesus and Mary? Jesus and God?) not fertilization, or something, and then we get one of the most synthetic gays on the planet, Elton John, saying MY BABIES ARE REAL. (Cue Ellen DeGeneres, Ricky Martin, Madonna, blah blah blah). Everyone’s going to throw their $50,000 Dolce & Gabbana dresses into the sea, or something. What does George Michael say? Can we get a comment from John Travolta?

No one, of course, points out that the fashion industry (like every other industry) is not based on any “values,” but on maximizing profits through mass exploitation (duh). (I love the comments from fashionistas saying “I would never wear Dolce & Gabbana, their clothes are tacky anyway”—as if all fashion isn’t tacky). No one, of course, points out that the traditional nuclear family—gay, straight, trans, queer, whatever, is tacky, outdated, and oppressive. It’s a failed project. Let it go.

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