Thursday, March 26, 2015

What could be tackier than the traditional nuclear family?

When I was a hooker living in New York in the late-nineties, I made a weekly pilgrimage to the offices of NEXT Magazine to pay for my ad (in cash, of course). At the time, the office was on Varick Street right by the Holland Tunnel, with some of the worst pollution in New York City, and after surviving the car exhaust I would take the elevator up to a windowless office with ‘70s wood-paneling (and maybe even brown carpet?) to hand over my cash before escaping back into the world. At the time, NEXT was in fierce competition with HX, the other glossy & vacuous weekly gay magazine filled with full-page ads for the latest muscleboy hotspots. NEXT owned the printing press (or at least it was in the same building), so eventually that’s the club mag that prevailed (I also went to the office of HX to pay for my ads, but that’s another story). Anyway, I never imagined NEXT would publish anything other than crass consumerism (let alone a critique of the gay consumerist mindset!), so it’s nice to see this short and clear opinion piece by NEXT Associate Editor featuring quotes from Yasmin Nair and myself (and, of course, announcing our new line of g-strings for Dolce & Gabbana). To more anti-assimilationist analysis in surprising spaces, please!!!

Monday, March 23, 2015

Synthetic thoughts

So I was asked to comment on the Dolce & Gabbana “synthetic babies” scandal, and my first instinct, after looking it up, was to think: who cares? It’s like the battle of the self-hating gays, right? Dolce and Gabbana say babies should come from the traditional family (Jesus and Mary? Jesus and God?) not fertilization, or something, and then we get one of the most synthetic gays on the planet, Elton John, saying MY BABIES ARE REAL. (Cue Ellen DeGeneres, Ricky Martin, Madonna, blah blah blah). Everyone’s going to throw their $50,000 Dolce & Gabbana dresses into the sea, or something. What does George Michael say? Can we get a comment from John Travolta?

No one, of course, points out that the fashion industry (like every other industry) is not based on any “values,” but on maximizing profits through mass exploitation (duh). (I love the comments from fashionistas saying “I would never wear Dolce & Gabbana, their clothes are tacky anyway”—as if all fashion isn’t tacky). No one, of course, points out that the traditional nuclear family—gay, straight, trans, queer, whatever, is tacky, outdated, and oppressive. It’s a failed project. Let it go.